Guiding Statement: Transcend!
HOW WILL YOUR GUIDING STATEMENT HELP…
If you have a disagreement with your supervisor at work.
1. Realizing and accepting that we have a difference of opinion and that is perfectly OK. We are entitled to have our own opinions and that is also our personal responsibility to share that opinion in a constructive way.
2. Trying not to take the disagreement as a personal attack and try to find the real causes for it and propose realistic possible solutions.
3. Realizing none of us can have all the right answers all the time and to get the best results as a team we need to cooperate as team and both need to listen and respond to each other. That way we can avoid getting stuck on senseless issues or attitudes.
4. If the workplace is a pyramidal environment and the supervisor’s wrong opinion or procedure needs to be imposed, understand that I am part of that system by contract and I need to follow the rules but stating clearly the responsibilities and the possible consequences and how every involved person will be held accountable.
5. My values and character should help me to remain in control despite any stressful situation in order to handle it with professionalism and respect. That is a way how I can keep my name intact and in good standing.
If your class paper or project receives a failing grade from your professor.
1. With the best objective attitude I can have try to find why exactly it failed.
2. Share candidly and respectfully with the professor my opinion if I believe there was a mistake on his part or a misunderstanding, and propose possible ways to fix it.
3. If it failed because of a failure on my part, learn from it and review what I can do to improve my performance in the next assignment.
4. Define clear steps to achieve a better grade in the next opportunity putting this little failure into a positive higher perspective.
If you are having a disagreement with someone for whom you care deeply (friend, spouse, partner, parent, work associate, etc. . . .).
1. Be sure within myself that I am not looking for revenge or looking for ways to deliberate attack and hurt the other person.
2. Ensure the other person understand that disagreements are normal in any kind of relationship and just having them do not have to necessarily undermine the existing caring affection. Disagree with a person does not mean we hate that person. It is actually a good opportunity to enhance and improve the relationship.
3. Been open and candid to clearly express how the disagreement makes us feel and be able to listen carefully to each other. Avoid “you” statements and generalizations.
4. Explain the specific causes of the disagreement and if necessary sincerely apologize for what we did or said, not for how the other person feels. Ask how we can help each other for improvement. Ask what we can do for the other person.
5. Create a specific plan of action for possible future situations and commit to it. For instance: “If we disagree again, how are going to handle it?”, “If I don’t like what you said, How I am going to approach to you to talk about it?
6. Try to positively transcend as a relative, partner or friend who is not trying to win an argument but instead is trying to fix a problem and win a closer and more meaningful relationship with that person.
If you see that someone is struggling and having a hard time “making it”.
1. Find and share the “good thing” or “good potential” within the struggling person and with genuinely interest, communicate how those good qualities have helped the person in the past.
2. Connect the good qualities found within the person to the goals and challenges that person is facing and highlight the significance.
3. Identify possible self-defeating habits that person may have and brainstorm practical ways how to overcome them.
4. Create a plan of action in which both, the struggling person and me, can commit and support each other without creating an unhealthy dependency.
Now that you have had a chance to apply your guiding statement to several simulations, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not effective at all and 10 being very effective), how would you rate its effectiveness to you and to those involved? Why? Discuss.
Effectiveness to me = 9
Basically because I am the owner of my actions and ultimately I am the only one who is responsible on how I act and feel. Aside from the actual results and outcome, if all I applied was correctly directed and with a sincere motivated effort then I can consider it was very effective for my own emotional and physical well-being. I didn’t give myself a 10 simply because there will be a small degree of sadness and pain in me if the other person do not respond or is not in the same page.
Effectiveness to others = 5
In my experience I realized I have to respect other’s way to see life and how they live it. It is their right. I definitely can propose and advice –if I am asked- certain point of views but I simple can’t impose my ways in any way to anybody. Some people around me have benefited from the steps I described above and others simply have decided not to benefit from them; 50/50.
SQ3R Mastery Study Sheet
QUESTION: What is the difference between internal and external motivation?
ANSWER: The main difference has to do with the origin or source of the motivation. Internal motivation comes from my personal desire of wanting, having or achieving something. I completely own that force and I exercise it at free will. No one else is involved. External motivation is the “pushing” from other people and other circumstances around me such as demanding parents, peer pressure from friends or other obligations like need of keeping my job, paying a debt or setting a certain example to others.
QUESTION: How can overcoming self-defeating behaviors help you become a better student?
ANSWER: Self-defeating behaviors are like stones or holes on the road: real threats while I am walking. Bad attitudes, laziness and mislead or unproductive point of views prevent us from any kind and degree of success and excellence. For example, if my goal is to be a better student then identifying personal self-defeating behaviors and overcoming them will ultimately make my path to that goal a lot easier and enjoyable.
QUESTION: Why does striving for excellence matter?
ANSWER: If we have a macro vision of things and we see how everything ultimately may and probably will affect our lives then we will understand that “a beautiful book is made only with many small beautiful phrases and ideas”. My point is that an ‘Ultimate Excellence’ is only the result of small actions or small decisions taken with excellence. That way, instead of thinking only about the present moment is better to think about how the present moment’s action or decision will affect my ultimate goal. Sometimes we can’t understand a disastrous event until we analyzed the small bad decision which added up and finally caused that big problem.
QUESTION: How can identifying your values help you stay motivated?
ANSWER: Because doing so will help me to be consistent with myself. Having any kind of dissonance in my mind between what I believe or know about me and what I do will erode my motivation and real chances of a journey of success. Not identifying neither recognizing my values or core beliefs will not allow me to elaborate and build the needed motivation to work for my goals.
QUESTION: Discuss how “character” plays a role in your motivation level.
ANSWER: I feel that my “character” or set of traits and qualities I have as a person is basically who I am. What I do or think should be the result of my “character” and to be guided by that. Since we live in social circles or societies, we need a way to find and keep an individual and personal identity within the group’s identity where we reside. My character is my identity and my name. If I want to make my character and name to transcend within my social circle and beyond then I need a plan of action for that. To keep that plan moving at a good meaningful pace, motivation is the key. With that been said, the better I uphold my character (who I am), the highest and stronger my motivation level will be.
QUESTION: Explain how self-esteem plays a role in one’s motivation.
ANSWER: I see my self-esteem as the fuel for my motivation; the reason why I am motivated or why I lack of it. My “worthiness” and how I perceive it will start “moving the wheels” or stop them. I can’t be motivated to do something for me if I can’t see any value in me and in what I am. It will be a situation where I basically think that… “I don’t deserve anything”. In the other hand, if after I have recognized my values and my great worthiness as a person, I will automatically feel I deserve to reach my goal and the motivation will flourish as a natural result.
QUESTION: Why is loyalty important to self-esteem?
ANSWER: I believe that loyalty needs to be one of the core pillars for a character who is destined to transcend while walking the path of excellence and success. Loyalty promotes good relationships and well-being. It protects the “who I am” from any kind of corruption and negative influence. By keeping my word above even my own inconveniences I become a trustable person to myself and therefore I can appreciate and give great value to that “loyal person within me”. This will provide the needed support to a healthy self-esteem.